Manny vs. Jason Bay.

J.D. "Opt Out" Drew vs. the Dodgers.

And, one more time, Joe Torre vs. the Red Sox.

Yes, I'm getting way ahead of myself, but I'm a writer, not a player. I don't need to play 'em one at a time. I can conjure up whatever the heck I want.

For the second straight year, each Division Series stands at two games to none. When you're talking about four possible sweeps, a man's mind starts to wander...

I dig the Phillies. I love the Rays. But Red Sox-Dodgers would be a showdown for the ages, a soap opera that would make everyone forget the stinkin' Cubs.

(It also would be a ratings bonanza for Fox, but trust me, Rupert Murdoch isn't sitting over my shoulder, whooping it up with every sentence. Nah, he's just on the phone, offering a little dictation.)

One thing, though: I worry about Manny.

We all know he despised his fishbowl existence in Boston. Where would he stay during the Series, Nashua, N.H.? Back home in Washington Heights, N.Y.? Or in the White House, hiding out with "W" during the final days of the Bush administration?

Here's a thought: Wasilla, Alaska.

We all know the basepaths at Fenway are like quicksand to Manny, who turned into Usain Bolt the moment he put on a Dodgers uniform. And please, someone tell Bay that he will have to wait his turn for the bathroom inside the Green Monster. Manny still gets first dibs.

Seriously, Manny vs. the Red Sox would be the biggest thing in sports since the Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya Harding showdown at the 1994 Winter Olympics.

Yet, the fun wouldn't end there.

The Red Sox had almost as bitter a parting with No-Mah in 2004, trading him at the July 31 non-waiver deadline. They then won the World Series and declined to re-sign Lowe, reportedly because they had concerns about his off-field lifestyle.

Since joining the Dodgers, Lowe is 54-48 with a 3.59 ERA, averaging almost 213 innings over four seasons.

Think he would like to stick it to the Red Sox?

Think Nomar would?

How about Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, who hails from Boston and collects every former Red Sox trinket he can find?

Of course, this works both ways.

The Dodgers were livid when Drew opted out of the final three years of his deal after the 2006 season, then signed a five-year, $70 million free-agent contract with the Red Sox.

Dodgers GM Ned Colletti reportedly considered filing tampering charges against the Red Sox, but that was as far as it went.

"I know J.D. is a spiritual guy and man of his word," Dodgers GM Ned Colletti said after Drew exercised his escape clause. "I guess he changed his word."

Torre would like to change something, too — his post-season legacy at Fenway. He would return to Boston without the Yankees, but with his former Red Sox antagonists, Manny and Nomar, by his side.

When last we saw Torre at Fenway in October, he was presiding over the start of the Yankees' collapse in the 2004 ALCS.

The Yankees became the first team to blow a three-games-to-none deficit in the postseason, losing two games at Fenway, then two at Yankee Stadium.

The Red Sox player who delivered the game-tying hit in the ninth inning of Game 4 against the great Mariano Rivera?

None other than Bill Mueller, who is now a member of the Dodgers' front office.

Nothing against the Phillies, nothing against the Rays, nothing against any other postseason team — except the stinkin' Cubs.

I'm living for Red Sox-Dodgers.

Unlike other imports, Iwamura is a keeper

My colleague Tracy Ringolsby heard a special announcement Friday walking through the United Airlines terminal at Chicago's O'Hare Airport.

"Paging Kosuke Fukudome, paging Kosuke Fukudome. Please report to the Cincinnati Reds for a player to be named later."

A few hours later, the Rays' Japanese import, Akinori Iwamura, ensured that no one will make such a wise-guy remark at Tampa International Airport anytime soon.

After going 2-for-4 with an RBI triple, walk and run scored in Game 1 of the Division Series, Iwamura hit a two-run homer in the fifth inning of Game 2, giving the Rays the lead in their 6-2 victory over the White Sox.